Oneness
First we must understand that attaching to things, ideas or people comes from the ego. The ego likes to feel offended and hates change. The ego wants possession and power. Ego is deeply embedded in our DNA, it was once a great tool used by our ancestors. The ego is a mental construct built to keep us alive. The ego’s only concern is survival.
Our ancestors needed the ego and the fight or flight response. Most of us are fortune enough to have shelter and food on the table. Luckily most of us aren’t worried about be hunted down by a big scary predator. As civilizations evolved- so did the ego. The ego looks to survive in a different manner now. Now our problems are different. It seems like now we seek validation or the need to feel as special and unique. We want the glory and recognition.
We have a hard time letting go. We refuse to let go of our ideals, we refuse to let go of people, we refuse to let go of anything that makes us feel safe (even if causes more damage). But why do we refuse to let go? When did this attachment begin?
It seems we’ve become more attached and dependent on our ideas, people around us and our possessions. But worst of all, on our identity. We focus some much time and effort on trying to look and act a certain way. The ego somehow wants to be recognized as something more. It craves fame and prestige. Somehow wearing a European leather bag means you’re better than the person next to you or going to church everyday. Instead of your intentions and how you feel inside. But that’s ego. Ego showing up in a new and evolved way.
We can find ourselves attached to power, fame, success, a spouse, lifestyle, life, ideas and identity. If we become aware of the things we have become attached to, we can start identifying if it’s a healthy attachment and if it’s helping us evolve. Although some of us don’t want to think of the day, there will be a day when detachment isn’t a choice. When all the cool shoes and nice jewelry can’t go with you. It’s best to learn to detach before you have to detach for good.
“The Root Of all suffering is Attachment”-Buddha
Most of us cling to life because we fear death. Some may cling to possessions because somehow they feel like their possessions increase their own self-value. Others may remain attached to toxic people and relationships because they think it’s better than being alone.
Don’t be afraid to do some soul searching. Don’t be afraid to get to the root of things. I challenge you to detach. Detach from ideas about yourself, detach from expectations and from people who do not serve you in this moment. Many of us say things like, I want a mansion or I want a new purse, new car or even a smaller nose….
but just know not having those things will not take away from who you really are and will not add to what you really need.
Detachment is not that you should own nothing.
But nothing should own you.
– Unknown
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