A Personal Blog

As i write this i’m drinking this great tasting wine called “Educated Guess” and smoking a cigar, while playing moonlight sonata. 

I’m thinking about my journal right now… let’s start there and see where this goes.

I have a journal, where I write all my affirmations. Things I want to manifest or thoughts I want to hardwire into my brain. You know changing a bad thought for a good one. At times in that same journal I’ll write my thoughts down- as they are and see them on paper and label it with the date and time. 

I do that with the intention to see how I really feel about what I’m thinking, then revisit the page months later. I like to see and reflect on how I overcame my issues and apply that formula to my current thoughts. 

I decided to buy a journal every new year and write down my new goals for the year. Once I’m 50 I’ll pull out all the journals and read through them to remind myself how beautiful life is. I’ll be able to see the evolution of my thoughts and how far I’ve really come. 

I’m really excited for that! 

It’s an awesome idea to me. I have so many goals and so many new thoughts flowing through my head. I can’t wait to see what wisdom I pull out of those journals then pass them down to my offspring. That’s also when my book will come to fruition. 

I try to do things I think are cool, things I want to pursue and that I know are fulfilling to me. 

I stopped putting others and their lifestyle on a pedestal a long time ago and that’s worked! There is nothing like becoming your own biggest fan and not in a egotistical way but a pure loving & nurturing way. 

I’m constantly inspired by many and admire people but at the same time. I am building my own path and want to make it as unique as possible, simply because it is possible! I’ve got what it takes and so do you. 

See,  growing up I knew I was different, I knew I didn’t fit in. I didn’t fit in with any crowd, I didn’t fit in with others at school or home. I was an introverted extrovert. You might ask.. what the fuck is that?! The answer is me! I’m that. School for many was an amazing time.. Full of fun and full of experiences but not for me. Because I was different.

I didn’t want to play a sport, I wasn’t invited to any parties, I didn’t belong to a group of friends and I didn’t do well academically, I was basically a lost cause! My grades were horrible and I didn’t fit into one of these social boxes! I didn’t want to be a doctor or a cop or firefighter or lawyer or pro athlete! All I wanted was to be myself because I hadn’t known that part of me yet! 

So at 17 I dropped out… I decided to start “grinding” whatever that means and was getting some decent checks compared to my peers at the time. While others worked a part time job at a pet store I was working like a slave from 6am – whatever time we finished- usually around 11pm, six days a week (by choice). I was getting good overtime and was getting decent pay. At the time the minimum wage in California was 8/hr. I was making 12/hr on my first job ever thanks to my brother. 

I still remember it like it was yesterday sitting down at the lunch table looking around the lunch room with that stale smell of sweat in the air, telling my brother and a new co-worker I would be rich like Bill Gates some day! 

Except as I grew older I finally realized what I meant by richer than Bill Gates! 

See i came to this conclusion at the beginning of the year, i’m not after money! I only wanted to be a millionaire because I thought it would make me likeable and accepted. I’m not opposed to money either because money is the best tool we can get our hands on. But money doesn’t make one rich! People want money because they think it’ll help them escape how they truly feel about themselves. When the simple fix is being the best version of yourself at all times. 

I was just tired of society putting me in a box! You know like if i’m not this then you’re that! Or if you don’t have this then I’m that! I came to the conclusion that I’m not either this or that! I’m actually all of that depending on what the present moment is demanding from me. 

but at the same time fuck all of that! I’m me! It’s that simple and I happen to be a really big fan of who I am. I cheer myself on and I constantly try to develop myself and evolve. I’m officially richer than Bill gates! Try to tell me otherwise! 

I’ve come to not only accept myself but love who I’ve become and that’s the greatest gift I’ve ever given to anyone. I’m genuinely proud of myself, that’s an award nobody can take from me. I’ve developed this triumph mentality that I know is going to take me really far! So I stay ready and keep learning and exploring. 

Nobody knows what the future will look like! But we can all make sure we’re ready for whatever it ends up looking like by being present! 

So here’s a thank you letter to myself.  I try to write one of these every so often. Last letter I wrote to myself was at the beginning of 2019 so here goes nothing.

Light On Ice Blog

08/25/2021

Dear me. 

I’m writing you this message to tell you, You’re better than you thought you were! Your journey on earth isn’t completed but your soul is well on it’s way to being done, remembering why it chose to come here in the first place. 

You dove head into the pain and came out victorious.. It wasn’t an easy thing but it was the best thing! You always talked about how you wanted to be the change you wanted to see in the world and you’re doing a really good job of that. 

We didn’t expect you to be alive at this age but you are! That’s a blessing just like you! 

You’ve embraced change and understand that life isn’t trying to beat you up but it’s trying to challenge you to peel back the layers of your true potential. 

I also see you’re gravitating towards wisdom! Who the hell would’ve guessed that! Hahaha but thank you for everything, continue to grow and be bold. 

No one can stop you and remember to always overachieve and be the best version of yourself no matter where you find yourself! 

Once again thank you for all you’ve done, and continue to be free 

Love, Me 

I was introduced to this form of expression by my wife / soulmate / best friend lizz. She’s quiet the writer and she introduced me to this beautiful art form! I discovered writing and poetry and blogging because of her.

So thank you lizz💕 

I also realized life is all about creating. It’s about creating memories, Friendships, Love, Harmony, emotions and ourselves. So in essence life is an art form. It’s open to interpretation to others but it’s an expression of how you see the world. That thought alone has become my best friend because when you see your life as an art form, there are no errors! It simply is. It all becomes part of the masterpiece. 

No mistakes, just randomness, that itself is liberating. 

So don’t be afraid to use different colors on your painting or to simply draw whatever the hell you want! It’s your form of expression and you can do as you like. So own it and only do things that compliment your masterpiece. 

With that being said, have fun and live long and do it your way

Thank you 

The purpose of art is washing the dust of daily life off of our souls.

– Pablo Picasso