What’s an existential crisis?

Existential crisis can occur at any point in life and are more common than not. It shows up in many ways but here are a few you might be familiar with.

-Feeling lost

-No motivation

-No sense of purpose

-Not driven

-Can’t figure out the meaning to life

-No job satisfaction

-Questioning religion

-Conflicting thoughts

-Wanting Isolation

-Music becomes noise

-Feeling Glum

– Feeling worried about the future

-Tired of your current situation

-Needing change

– Not happy w/ home life

-Low energy levels

– Waking up frustrated

If the things mentioned above resonate, just know you are not alone. It’s okay to feel this way but it’s also a sign your life is shifting and it’s time to stop resisting change. This is a perfect moment to really analyze what you really want to do. What’s the one thing that is truly calling your name. What’s the best way to go about your current situation?

10 ways to get out of your existential crisis

1. Back yourself into a corner to gain traction

2. Start with small goals to gain momentum

3. Be grateful

4. Do some soul searching

5. Learn from people who are living the life you want

6. Implement good habits daily

7. Seek wisdom from people or an experience

8. Relax

9. Express yourself with loved ones

10. Breath, every time you feel a negative emotion

the search

I’ll share my intimate thoughts and emotions during my crisis with you to shed some light on the situation.

1 year ago I had planned to explore the country with my fiancé.

We planned to hit the road for a whole year and travel and explore all the states. Use our savings and have fun and make money as we go on. But it’s so easy to speak from a place of power. At the time myself and my fiancé were making the most money we’ve ever made together. Yet both of us were unhappy in our careers and we decided our lives lacked adventure.

We were both irritated after work and would often argue about small things. Both of us being unhappy. We knew it was time for a change. We spoke and did some research and decided to find a Travel Trailer. Something I could haul with my truck. We found the right travel trailer and decided to finance it. The deal was done. We were set to pick up the trailer in 3 days. A day before the trailer had to be picked up, I received a call my approval got denied.

I was relieved and sad at the same time. We didn’t feel ready or prepared, we were scared. But we still wanted a change. Shortly, we went down the rabbit hole and discovered van life and skoolies, so a new search began but it lead to a dead end. Then we included motorhomes in our search. Finally after 2 long years of searching we found the perfect one for us. It was a bit over priced but it seemed worth it. The day of the purchase we met with the sellers who seemed eager to sell the motorhome.

Something seemed odd, so we hired a mechanic to inspect the motorhome and give us an honest opinion. The inspection was going great so we began to arrange the form of payment and the location to park the motorhome. Finally after 2 years of searching we were going to hit the road.

unfortunately… it didn’t happen.

Fresh Start

The amount of money we had to invest in the motorhome was far more than what it was worth. We walked out of that situation super deflated and sad. The whole situation was horrible. The seller refused to give us back our deposit but worst of all our dreams of traveling the country seemed to have died in that moment.

Few months later we decided, if we couldn’t travel- we at least needed a fresh start outside of the city. I knew 2022 was going to be the biggest year of change for me and so far it has been. starting with the fact we moved cities, quit my high paying job, Turned down a promotion, got engaged and put peace at the top of my priorities.

currently- everything is going great at the new house, I like my environment but now I have a job that’s paying me what I used to make at the age of 17. I told myself at the beginning of the year, I wouldn’t mind making less money as long as that meant more peace in my life. But I’m quickly realizing it does bother me a bit.

Its been 3 months and I’ve had some time to access my current emotions and thoughts. Now that im making a fraction of what I used to make, I don’t feel i have the leverage anymore. This is where my existential crisis begins.

conclusion

I began feeling limited, powerless, numb, sad, frustrated and anxious. I feel as if I have 1 missing piece left.

Am I feeling this way because I never got the RV? is it because I quit a high paying job? Is it because im making less money? Maybe it’s because I was going to feel sense of freedom on the road? The conclusion was I allowed a part of my hopes and dreams die when that goal didn’t come to fruition. It’s something I put some much time and energy into for 3 years. But i also realized, thats not the actual problem. That’s what triggered this emotion the problem is deeper than that.

Unfortunately meditation or books I’ve read, haven’t helped me pin point the problem. So what’s the next step?

The best way is to work on myself, mediate and seek guidance. During a meditation I kept seeing myself in a retreat doing ayahuasca. Ironically ayahuasca is something I’ve been interested in for about 4 years now. It’s a powerful medicine that can change one’s life. It has a healing feminine essence. During my mediation it called me and told me “I’ll show you what you need to see“. It’s time to meet the mother medicine ayahuasca.

I know problems can only be solved internally. It’s all about how you see your life. Sometimes existential crisis are just the tip of the iceberg. Your emotions can be triggered by something deep down that hasn’t been healed. Sometimes we suppress our emotions for so long that they begin to overflow. I believe my existential crisis started very young and has to do with healing something regarding my father. I can not pinpoint what exactly I need to heal, which is why I am seeking guidance or ayahuasca medicine and other forms of healing like sound healing. One thing is for sure, I got to keep being my best self.

I must keep evolving and make myself proud. At this moment that’s the best I can do right now and thats okay.