What is ego And how to control it

Where does the ego come from?

The ego is a primitive mental construct that is deeply embedded in our DNA.

Let’s think back to the first homo sapiens. Homo sapiens were exposed to a hostile environment, including predators. Imagine one of these homo sapiens encounters a lion while looking for food. Their brain immediately goes into fight or flight response and at that moment the ego emerges.

Now, let’s pretend the growling lion walks away which means the caveman is safe. But the ego knows to take over and stay alert in case there’s any danger. As the caveman walks home, the ego begins to guide and say “Me hurry home–me safe at home.”

Let’s fast forward and think of how the ego evolved along with our species. We no longer hunt, we no longer have to fight for survival; the new sense of survival is being socially accepted. Therefore, the ego will appear when we feel threatened.

Judgement is one of those things that makes us feel threatened. If we are judged, the ego immediately takes over and says, “Me prove them wrong! Me Hate them.” When the ego takes over there is no telling how you’ll react- a fight can break out or an argument can take place. Hate and resentment can start building up. Creating a vicious cycle.

The ego also loves to be validated by everyone and attempts to keep us under its control- the ego’s main objective is to keep you safe. When we try to chase after our dreams and passions, the ego paralyzes us with our comfort zone. At times you’ll also demand respect and support from others around you. The ego Expects! But remember nobody owes you anything, not even a simple explanation.

Egos manifest differently for a lot of people but usually stems from some sort of vulnerability. You must be aware of what feeds your ego. Remember the ego doesn’t want to die therefore it finds ways to constantly feed off of your pain to remain alive.

Living under the spell of the ego can seem amazing and powerful but can manifest in self destructive way, like gambling, sex addiction, drug abuse, seeking constant validation, mistreating those around you, attachment to material objects and becoming self absorbed.

The Many Faces Of Ego

If you want to know how to identify ego, simply pay attention to how you act and react to people, judgement, idea’s and hurdles in your life.

Becoming aware of your thoughts during something simple as a conversation. Is a great way to start. Are you listening to the other person? Or are you waiting for them to finish, to respond?

The ego looks for opportunities To shine.

Pretend you’re on a highway and someone gives you the middle finger, what would be your immediate reaction? If the answer is anything but not reacting—then you’re operating on ego.

It doesn’t mean you have to be jolly and happy all day, and let people walk all over you. Most people want to get a reaction out of you, Something! Anything! Remember the ego loves conflict. So the best way to not fuel the fire is by not engaging.

We’re all familiar with the saying “showing their true colors”

That’s a reference to someone’s ego, the hurt, unhealed version of that person. Become aware of what your thoughts and intentions are, when you’re meeting new people, when you’re arguing, when you’re thinking of buying things.

Lots of time we can find ourselves buying clothes that are trending because we feel that should make us instantly likeable. The problem is not about buying and treating ourselves to some nice clothes or wanting to look good. The problem is feeling like we NEED nice clothes to look and feel good or feel accepted.

keeping up with the joneses, is a pattern we’ve seen throughout our lives and you must be aware, why you make certain decisions. Especially when you know better, but go with the popular decision anyway.

Become aware of your desires and understand that when you feel most vulnerable you ego likes to whisper in your ear. For example let’s say your Boyfriend or Girlfriend are mad at you and you feel neglected, your ego will remind you of that when someone else finds you attractive and is interested. So chances are if you’re not aware you’ll end up cheating. That is definitely not the way to handle miscommunications.

Now everyone involved is hurt and it could’ve been done, way differently!

These are the choices that can end in a disaster, like driving drunk. You know you shouldn’t but the ego steps in and says “Me Drive Okay! Me Can Handle this!” Allowing the ego to take control can be fun and exhilarating and you might think it’s all under control until it isn’t.

“Dissolve your ego before it dissolves yourself”

-Maxime Lagacé

25 Ways To Detach From Ego

A list of ways to detach from ego